This is new to me and already I'm falling behind. I have been working obsessive hours at my 'real' job, so not much has been done here or in my workspace at home.
Every year I start shopping for Christmas early. I buy and make things I see along the way, for people who might appreciate their significance. Every year I'm way ahead of schedule, then the dreaded day comes and no one has their presents.
My family stopped celebrating Christmas on December 25. Eventually is became a New Year's time for celebration with family, presents, good food and a couple drinks that turn into my father thinking he can have a stiff drink when he doesn't drink to begin with.
This year was just the same. All presents were gathered and finally December 31 two boxes went out to family. Still I have an unfinished project for my parents. It becomes difficult when you no longer live close. That's why I start my projects so early. Still every year it ends the same. I'm late. Maybe it is Shellnut time or Indian time. Either way it's the way of my world.
I started this project for my parents before last Christmas. I was so sure that I would finish it then, but no luck. Good thing Christmas comes again the following year. We are in the present following year and the project is still incomplete. I find so many other interesting things to work on. They never go empty handed though. I just wanted to give them something handmade with love. It's the thought that counts right?
I complete so many projects, but its bound to happen that a couple projects get pushed to the back of the line. I work two jobs seven days a week. That's too much work for anyone at my age. I was at the craft store last night talking with a very nice lady about nylon thread. She is retired and works for fun. I told her I couldn't wait to be retired, so I can make things everyday as my 'for fun' job. In any case, it is very refreshing when you finish a project you've put so much time into.
This leads me to my New Year's Resolution...
I have two resolutions I would like to work on this year.
Everyone says their going to eat better, lose weight and start working out. What's the point in that if you still feel bad about yourself? You will never truly be as good for yourself; you are your own worse critic. How can you feel good about yourself if you're too busy to think about yourself?
I want to work on feeling better about myself. If that means taking the steps, parking further away in the parking lot or eating more greens then so be it. I will not give up sugar in my coffee, Dr. Pepper, or the random chocolate craving once a month. I will try to get more rest and maybe one day realize that I work too much.
It's time to take some time for me. It's time to revisit things I thought I was good at and make myself better in them. Whether it be in my beadwork or my photography. I want to finish things. I want to have a day off and create without over thinking or rushing. I want to know that I can finish a project because work is not my life. I work to survive. I do not survive to work.
This year is a new start. Whether I believe that or not I'm still unsure. In any case, I'm moving forward and I will FINISH!
